


The Exile's Broken Hearts

by FanGirlyBree



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-11
Updated: 2008-12-11
Packaged: 2018-04-30 11:17:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5161859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanGirlyBree/pseuds/FanGirlyBree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after the gameplay - *Spoilers maybe* </p><p>The Jedi Exile feels strongly for Mical - the man she has taken under her wing as an apprentice; and Atton has always had unspoken feelings for her as well. She feels confused about how she feels for Atton, but when they're alone together she can't help but feel like there's something deeper there for him as well. How is she supposed to choose between the two of them? Maybe this is why love is frowned upon by most Jedi? The feelings are never un-complicated, are they?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Exile's Broken Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> *written back in 2008 - also posted on my deviantart account (ephira.deviantart.com) so if you see it there it's not stolen!

The day started out like any other typical day on the Ebon Hawk, with T3 drilling away on the controls, beeping furiously at anyone who tried to come and bug him… Which, most of the time it would be Atton, who always seemed to have something against the little guy. 

HK was with Mandalore, talking about the “good old days” when they used to kill people for sport, a topic that most other people stayed away from. Bao-Dur was in the garage, working on something or other to help the Hawk fly faster and smoother, with his little remote thing following him around, beeping. 

Visas was as reclusive as ever, keeping to herself in the dormitory. It was anyone’s guess what she could be doing all day alone…

Mira was practicing her new-found Jedi skills with Mical, who was always happy to help. But, as Atton almost always pointed out, he was much happier to practice with the Exile, Iriae. Iriae was basically the “leader” of their motley crew by now… but nobody ever seemed to call her by her name. They would all call her Exile, or in Bao-Dur’s case, she was nothing but “General.”

She sat in the cock-pit of the ship, reading a book. She desperately tried to get some alone time any time she could… it seemed like everyone was so drawn to her… but Kreia had said that she was a born leader, and people would swarm to her…

She sighed as she remembered Kreia… She desperately wished that her encounter with her former-mentor could have ended differently. She still loved Kreia in her own way…  
Iriae hated the feeling of killing. She hated the fact that most of the time everyone else expected her to do the killing… she hated the fact that most of the time it was vital… but most of all, she hated the fact that her friends would kill right along with her if she asked them to…

Especially Mical and Atton… those two had followed her around like lost puppy dogs for the longest time… 

She was afraid that they were in love with her. If they were, one of them, or both of them, would end up getting hurt. And on top of that, she had no idea which she would choose if they asked her. She liked both of them…

Mical was charming… and he treated her well. She had no doubt in her mind that he would make the better caretaker for her, and the better protector.  
But did she want to be protected? 

Atton would be playful and full of spunk. She knew for a fact that they would get in a lot of fights. But then he would just look at her with those big puppy eyes of his, and all would be forgiven. 

She sighed deeply as she heard T3’s frantic beeping getting louder, and he seemed angry. She heard Atton’s voice in reply, his groans sounding disgruntled. T3 beeped again, and this time Atton yelled back.

“Well I was just trying to help!” Atton hissed “You ungrateful little thing!”

T3 beeped in a dramatic fashion, almost as if saying “yeah, like you could help if you tried you big oaf!” 

Iriae groaned loudly and set down her book. So much for her peaceful rest…

“Atton!”

 

“Master Iriae?” Mical knocked gently on the infirmary door, where Iriae was sitting with an ice-pack to her bruised shoulder at the moment, and she would constantly have to shift it from her shoulder to her head, then to her leg and back to her shoulder again. 

She and Atton had argued over how he should treat T3 like an actually being with feelings, and he argued that he was just a bunch of machinery, and in turn had no feelings. But, with two completely headstrong people, it was doomed from the start. 

They had ended up in a full-out fist fight, screaming at each other. Soon, T3 had become tired of their fighting, and he ended up zapping them both, which only made Atton angrier at the droid, and Iriae had to try even harder to keep him from taking the poor thing apart. Finally, Bao-Dur had come in and broke the fight up, sending them both to the infirmary to tend to their wounds. He said that healing by the force was out of the question, because they had to learn how foolish their fight was… and the easiest way was to take the pain.  
"Mical..." Atton groaned, giving Iriae a pleading look. "Please, the last thing I want is that little brown-noser in here when I'm trying to get rid of my bruises. Tell him to go away, Exile... please?"  
"He's just trying to be nice." Iriae replied icily. "And I have a name, you know."

"I know that." Atton looked shocked that she thought he didn't. "It's Iriae Orlan Starstream."

"Then why don't you ever call me that?" Iriae asked, as Mical knocked once again on the door. If Iriae didn't answer, she knew he would probably go away; thinking she was asleep. But the last ting she wanted was to be left alone in here with Atton. "Come in." she called softly, and Atton looked hurt.

"I didn't know you wanted me to call you by your name..." he muttered as the door opened and Mical walked in.

"Hey," Mical smiled at Iriae, seemingly unaware of Atton's presence at all. "Master Iriae, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Iriae smiled at the caring tone in his voice. He was so different from Atton…

“Are you sure?” Mical came closer to her, and Atton snorted grumpily from the bed next to her, and Mical looked up for the first time, seeing Atton. “Oh. Hello, Atton.” He smiled, his voice almost seeming smothered in honey.

“Hey.” Atton grunted in response, folding his arms and immediately wincing as he did so, as there was a big bruise on the curve of his arm. Iriae smirked slightly. It was his own fault. And whatever else happened, she was sure he deserved it.

 

Iriae lay on the bed in the west dormitories, Visas meditating in the middle of the room. The feeling of the force flowing through Visas’ body calmed Iriae in a way… she didn’t know why…

She sighed yet again, without realizing it. Visas exhaled slowly, then spoke.

“Is there something you wish to speak to me about, mistress?” She asked, relinquishing her meditation time. Iriae looked up, surprised.

“How did you know?” Iriae asked, sitting up.

“Well, you have been sighing on and off for the last hour.” Visas replied, a slight smile on her lips. Iriae blushed, biting her lip. “What is it?”

“I just… can’t understand my own feelings.” Iriae replied. “And I wish I had something to do… Sitting around on the ship isn’t the most enthralling activity.”

“Don’t be so eager to do something…” Visas whispered, sounding slightly sad. “Even though this may be dull compared to fighting the Sith, but times like these are often short-lived. Enjoy it while it lasts. And if you still desire something to do, you may always go gambling at Nar Shadaa.”

“Mmm…” Iriae groaned. “Nar Shadaa… the place where Atton spent most of his life… Was it really a good idea to go there…? “Maybe.” She replied, getting up. “I’m sorry I disturbed your meditation. You can get back to it if you want.”

“I’m here to talk… if you need it.” Visas shrugged. Iriae smiled and left, going immediately to her favorite spot in the Hawk, the cock-pit, but instantly regretted it, as Atton stood at the starmap, his arms folded again. 

She grimaced and turned to leave, but Atton suddenly caught her arm, spinning her around. She didn’t think that he meant to pull her so hard, but she went slamming into him, and resulted in her face being inches away from his. Atton gave her a confused look, almost as if he had no idea what just happened, and he didn’t know why she was so close to him. Iriae blushed slightly, trying to pull away, but Atton’s hands tightened on her waist, and he got a look in his eyes that almost scared her.

“Atton-”

“Iriae…” Atton breathed, biting his lip, looking torn. Iriae felt her face burn, and her heart sped up as he came closer, swallowing hard.

“Atton, I-” She cut off as his warm lips pressed hard against hers, causing a thrill to rush through her body. Before she knew what was happening, she had her hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer. Atton moaned slightly, pushing her against the wall of the cock-pit, breathing hard.

Iriae pulled away from his lips, feeling the rush of the moment begin to fade, her blood pumping loudly in her ears. Atton kissed her again, and she was powerless to resist him. She sighed with pleasure, but then pushed Atton away weakly.

“Stop…” She gasped. But Atton only kissed her yet again, forcing her to push him away again. “Please, Atton…” 

“Don’t.” Atton begged her, his big brown eyes causing her to melt. “Please, Iriae… you can’t tell me that you don’t feel the same way that I do…”

“I… Atton…” Iriae whined quietly, pouting. “Please don’t ask me to tell you how I feel right now… I honestly don’t know!” 

“Please, Iriae!” Atton whimpered, still holding her against the wall. “I… I can’t go on like this… I have to know… Please, Iriae…” He pressed his lips against hers once again, and Iriae closed her eyes with pleasure. Whatever else he was, she couldn’t deny the fact that Atton was a good kisser…

She opened her eyes to see Mical in the doorway to the cock-pit, his eyes hurt as he watched her realization. She pushed Atton away forcefully, but Mikal fled before Atton knew what was going on. 

“Mical! Mical, please!” Iriae went to go after him, but Atton grabbed her wrist. 

“Iriae…” Atton whispered. “Please… Don’t leave me…”

Iriae blinked back tears as she tore her hand away from Atton’s grasp, running from the room. What was she getting herself into? For goodness’ sake, she was a Jedi! Wasn’t she supposed to be above these feelings and emotions? 

She ran to the east dormitories, knowing that Visas would still be in the west, and she threw herself down on one of the beds, sobbing into the pillow. She sobbed, until she fell asleep, her thoughts haunting her…

 

Iriae awoke several hours later, and she looked out the space-windows, she saw the tall buildings of Nar Shadaa… apparently Atton had taken Visas’ advise and traveled to his old home before she had awoken. 

It was so depressing… she had no idea what she was going to do anymore… Atton’s kisses still tingled on her lips, but the hurt look in Mical’s eyes still burned in her memory… and the way Atton had begged her to stay…

She broke two hearts on one try.


End file.
